Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
