Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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