Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
