i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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