just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
