yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
