Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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