sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
