He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize