me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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