I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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