what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
