so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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