is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
