Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
