she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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