HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
