i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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