normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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