Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
