The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
