I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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