its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
did you just send me my own nude
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The cops high fived after they tackled you
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
