It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
