Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
