happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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