I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
