There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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