In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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