I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
