she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Small penises have feelings too.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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