Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just tell him i said nine months
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
