But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
