Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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