Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
