I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
