Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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