i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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