Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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