god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
