Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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