I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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