At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
