arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
