she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
