By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
