Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
