Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
