holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
