There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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