I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
