Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Come on in and take your pants off
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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