If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
