1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
