My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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