She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
