well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She's the barista slut.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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