my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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