Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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