we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
