hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
