my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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