You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
