im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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