Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize